Miami Geordie

Regrettably, I joked a week ago with all the fuss surrounding Darren Bent’s transfer for 24 mil to Aston Villa, that Mike Ashley must be scheming something to get the attention firmly back at St James’ Park. Something dysfunctional was around the corner, I said. How true this was proven today with the sale of Andy Carroll for an estimated 35 million to Liverpool. Now from a purely business standpoint, 35 million for a not entirely proven forward seems like an incredibly deal. Also, from a player’s, to practically treble their wages overnight seems like something you wouldn’t turn down.

However, this is not your average player or owner. We’ve been repeatedly fed lies over the last few weeks from the club that “Carroll is not for sale”. Also, today’s Chronicle led with an interview from Carroll saying his future was at the club. All this together and so-called player loyalty from a local lad to that special no.9 shirt, has gone out the window. Some are blaming Ashley and others are defending Carroll saying he was “pushed out”. Personally I say bollocks to the both of them. Even though 35 million is a huge amount for Carroll, if Ashley really wanted us to develop the club and nurture the best players, he could have turned both the offer and Carroll’s so-called transfer request down. In a similar manner, Carroll was the one to sign the deal with Liverpool. To paraphrase Shakespeare “The lad doth protest too much, methinks.”

“I’m afraid I find no pulse on the lad. He has no heart”

Whatever you make of the whole affair, seeing Carroll grinning in a Liverpool top with what looks like he’s getting his picture with a Madame Tussauds version of Kenny Dalglish, is a bitter pill to swallow. Further, this does not enamor many to Liverpool fans who have spent the last year or two bellyaching about owners, players, managers and about their club being in chaos. When was the last time you were relegated? What’s the lowest league position you’ve suffered in recent years? Today, as the deal of Carroll and Suarez were more or less certain, Liverpool fans were still crying about Torres leaving and some idiots even burned a shirt with his name on. If you want to know what misery is, try following Newcastle for just one season.

Liverpool’s new strikeforce of Lou and Andy

So where does this leave us without Carroll? Surely, a shrewd business man like Mike Ashley wouldn’t sell his star player without having a replacement lined up. So, Liverpool had two to replace Torres, plus they almost pulled off a transfer for the promising Blackpool midfielder Charlie Adams. What did Newcastle do? A 12 million bid for a player we sold under bad circumstances for 6 million, just exactly 2 years ago. Oh, and let’s not forget a player on loan till the end of the season, who was reported to fail his medical today (Stephen Ireland). Ben Arfa deal aside (who we’re yet to really see if he recovers from injury and lives up to the hype), this transfer window has been another farce for Newcastle. In fact, I get this tremendous feeling of déjà vu after the Carroll deal went through right at the last minute before the transfer window closed. Ashley then holding his hands up (up the arse of his two puppets Llambias and Pardew) saying Carroll requested it, and there wasn’t enough time to sort out a replacement.

If we take a look back at a number of different transfer windows, there is a worrying trend that it seems to be too much coincidence to not be an accident. Here are the facts:

• On the 29^th August 2008, Ashley sold James Milner (one of reasons for Keegan’s departure) for 12 million pounds; too late to buy replacement as transfer window closed on the 31^st.  Money was not re-spent in Jan transfer window

• In the January transfer window of 2009, both Shay Given and Charles N’Zogbia were sold for 7 and 6 million respectively, right at the end of the transfer window (30^th and 31^st January). Newcastle would make a last minute bid for Kieran Richardson, which was obviously turned down, like today.

So this last minute sale, smacks of a forethought plan with the aim not to reinvest the profit from sales into building the squad. It seems that Newcastle have gone back to the terrible days of the 1980s where we produced local talent, only to sell them off as they blossomed. Shades of 1988 come clearly to mind when Paul Gascoine was sold to Spurs after a very promising start at Newcastle.

An interesting article on True Faith costs out what this transfer window has done for Ashley. Afterall, in a season where our depth of squad is thread bare, this transfer season we let 3 players go. Alone, on wages, Ashley is saving over 100k per week (Routledge, Xisco and Carroll), with a calculated profit of 40 mil in January alone.

True Faith like many other point out that this is not just an “unfortunate event”, that it was bullshit when they said that they really, really, really didn’t want to sell, honest guv’. I agree with this, but Carroll is not a blameless pawn in the equation. Afterall, Ashley wasn’t at Liverpool twisting one arm up his back and making him to sign.

Will we hear the truth behind this whole drama? Un-bollocking-likely, with Ashley in charge. Normal disorder resumed at St James’ Park.

One final thing, hats off to the Chronicle person who had the balls to created this entry with the url ending “money-grabbing-fucking-bastard” (now changed)

Transfer windows, love them or hate them, this one has not be a dull one. Although for Newcastle, January has been the usual rumour mill linking every out-of-favour player with a move to NUFC, and vice-versa with Newcastle’s best players. The transfer window started well for Newcastle with the signing of Hatem Ben Arfa, and has gone rather quiet since. So, by all accounts today it looks like we’re taking Stephen Ireland on loan for the rest of the season. Whether there’s a future buy option is not clear right now.

Ireland has enough with his car collection

So, a lot of people are commenting that he’s not good enough and is a bit high maintenance. The man obviously has high value tastes as can be seen from pictures inside his house which include a 100k wireless fishtank and a bedroom for his daughter which screams “pink”:

Now putting his label of the “King of Bling” aside, what does this player look like on paper? Most people cite his disappointing spell at Aston Villa, where he ironically made his debut in the 6-0 thrashing by Newcastle on his birthday in October 2010. The whole deal of his move to Villa from Manchester City in exchange for James Milner was marred with controversy from the start and it seems like he’s never settled since. Out of 24 games played by Villa this season, Ireland has only featured in 10 of these, starting only 6 of these. Not really much of a chance for a young player to prove himself.

Leaving this brief spell at Villa alone, how does his time at Manchester City look, and was his previous highly rated form just a flash in the pan? Ireland signed for Manchester City in 2005 at the age of 18. After a brief spell in the reserves, he quickly became a first team regular. In the following 3 seasons, Ireland would make 104 appearances for City (including League, Cup and Europe), scoring 16 goals and 20 assists. 

The sacking of Mark Hughes by City and his replacement by Roberto Mancini, would end the previous good form of Ireland and hence large spells out of the first squad in the 2009/10 season. Mancini was unable to turn Ireland around saying about him:

“I don’t know what he is thinking about his future but, for me, Stephen is a fantastic player and if he can change his head I think he can start to play like last season [2008-09] again”

Had Ireland’s fame gone to his head? Could a change transform him like many other recent players at Newcastle to his previous form? Time alone will tell, but the lad has some seriously good stats for at least 3 season which can’t be ignored. If he can get over himself, he could be a classic player for Newcastle. His goals for City include these 10 gems:

Those of you NUFC fans still on the fence, the lad like to score against Sunderland. After scoring against Sunderland (below), Ireland performed a bizarre goal celebration by pulling his shorts down to reveal a pair of pants with the Superman logo on them:

Basically, its last chance saloon for Ireland at Newcastle and the lad most know this. The question is, do we get another superhero to add to the SpiderMag, or do we get Clark Kent? In this case, a loan try out is a no lose situation really for Newcastle and smart business by Mike Ashley.

Studies from Hal Whitehead of the Dalhousie University in Nova Scotia, suggests the notion that whales through their complex social behaviour patterns, have a form of “culture”. It was observed in the same whale species, the groups of whales living in close proximity had distinct dietary preferences and a different vocal “dialect”. Whilst it is pointed out that these mammals do not have opposable thumbs and hence cannot create anything reasonable to pass on to subsequent generations, instead these “dialects” / behaviors were passed on.

Call me a skeptic, but a dialect and social “practices” does not make you cultured. Does having a Geordie, Scouse, Brummie or Cockney accent make you cultured? To make the point clear, paraphraseing Derek and Clive, when was the last time a whale had a hit record in the charts, or when was their last literal contribution? Does swimming in the ocean with your mouth open sucking in plankton all day long make you cultured? If it was, the ocean would be full of fricking hipsters.

Now some may say, “Hey, I saw Shamu doing tricks at Seaworld. Those are learned cultural things arent they?” No, if jumping for fish and biting your trainer counts as culture, then cats should get be considered the Einstein of the animal kingdom. Basically there is a key difference between socially transmitted behaviours and cultural practices. For example, imagine you were tomorrow to change what side of the road they drive on in England. Would that change English culture? No, it is a learned social behaviour. Now lets for example say take away football, beer and pubs. After the ensuing riots, this would affect English culturally. Now when was the last time you saw a whale driving on the left-hand side, let alone in the pub cheering on their national team?

Some may also point out that these certain social interaction indicate culture in whales such as the “scientific” observation of a whale gang-bang. Whilst having a three-some is again not culture. Case and point; when was the last time you saw a three-some at the Royal Opera house? However, whales may not have culture, but they make up for it in the “trouser” department.

Clive was never liked at Seaworld and always got the short straw as “Whale Wanker”

Like a babies arm? Hell no, more like one of Peter Crouch’s legs. And the bugger can bend this around things too (like Crouch’s leg). Furthermore, their testicles (which are internal) weigh a ton. No wonder the Japanese are out there trying to get rid of them; can you imagine what damage the whale bukkake film business would do to the Japanese one?

So back to the three-some. As you can see below we have three whales engaged in a “Surface Activity Group”. Thanks to Scientopia blog, we have males / female marked out:

Basically, we have the female in the middle on her back and the males on either side with their whale dongs going into the female’s “San Diego” (marked in red). Now, as impressive as this may seem for anyone who’s tried to shag in the sea, the whales have broken the cardinal rule of male-female-male threesomes. Yes, they’re crossing swords ffs. Cultured my arse.

So whats the conclusions here? Whales have dialects and like to shag with their large wangs. Whales hang out in groups together and don’t like to mix with other groups of whales. They’re basically just a bunch of fricking jerks, like the rest of us mammals. No culture or sophistication needed for that.

To end, I’ll leave you with this classic whale-related pic:

Rendell L, & Whitehead H (2001). Culture in whales and dolphins. The Behavioral and brain sciences, 24 (2) PMID: 11530544

Mate, B., Duley, P., Lagerquist, B., Wenzel, F., Stimpert, A., & Clapham, P. (2005). Observations of a Female North Atlantic Right Whale (Eubalaena glacialis) in Simultaneous Copulation with Two Males: Supporting Evidence for Sperm Competition Aquatic Mammals, 31 (2), 157-160 DOI: 10.1578/AM.31.2.2005.157

I was introduced to the Bundesliga about 10 years ago by a German friend. What I had thought was a league of stereotypical German efficient, functional football, was far from the truth. Whilst following English football is obviously my number one league, the Budesliga beats out all competition to second, including the dull Serie A and the two-team league (La Liga) of Spain. Amazingly, German football although not notorious for dominating European club football, continues to be a big threat at the National level, as evidenced in this World Cup by the exciting and young, German team. England could take a few good lessons from this, especially how well Germany fosters its young talent in their home leagues. Furthermore, Germany has embraced its ethnic diversity as evidenced by the emergence of a number of second generation players of Turkish decent.

The other aspect that appealed to me was the personalities in the game and their antics that followed them. If one thing that can be remembered from the World Cup in 1994 in the USA, was the “Stinkefinger” incident where Stefan Effenberg gave the German fans the finger when they booed him as he was substituted. This led to his sending home and a ban from international football; a real talent who never got to shine for the German national team during his career. Effenberg in a nutshell really was one of a number of characters who attracted me to the Bundesliga, on pure entertainment value alone.

For those of you not familiar with Effenberg, the “stinkefinger” was just the tip of the iceberg in terms of his career of controversy. Afterall, this is the man who declared the unemployed lazy and called for benefit to be cut. Imagine David Beckham or Wayne Rooney coming out and saying the unemployed were lazy? The other highlights of his career include:

• While with Fiorentina in Serie A, Effenberg stole the keys to Brian Laudrup’s new Mercedes and took the car out for a spin. On returning, when Laudrup confronted Effenberg, he retorted: “Hey Brian, I only went for a drive in your car. I didn’t f*** your wife.”
• Talking of shagging team mates wives, Effenberg did actually do this with Thomas Strunz’s wife; a former teammate from Bayern Munich. Strunz found out his wife was having an affair with Effenberg through a text message. 
• If you think the John Terry / Wayne Bridge ex-girlfriend  incident was controversial, Effenberg’s affair with Claudia Strunz make this look like all they did was kissed. If sleeping with Claudia Strunz wasnt enough salt in the wounds of Thomas Strunz, Effenberg in promoting his autobiography, launched a rather controversial publicity campaign in the very popular Bild magazine in Germany. Pictured below, Claudia who appears kneeling, blindfolded in front of Effenberg looks about to do something very R-rated. Ten’s of thousand of these images were posted around Germany, as if it wasnt any worse for Thomas.

• Other revelations in Effenberg’s book called Ich Hab’s Allen Gezeigt (I’ve Shown Them All), included attacks on former teammates. To Lothar Matthaeus, Effenberg  called the former Germany captain “a real quitter”, after their defeat in the Champions League final against Man Utd.  “To this day I don’t know why he went off,” wrote Effenberg. “We were 1-0 up and only had to see the game through to full-time. If you’re the libero, how can you go off? I’d have needed a broken leg to do that.”
• Again with going back to Thomas Strunz, in the book Effenberg gives lengthy accounts of how he ran off with his wife and the book contains a number of racy photos like that above of himself and the former Mrs Strunz.
• About his drinking exploits whilst at Bayern he said: “There’s only one drug at Bayern and that’s beer,” telling how he would spread the empties around a hotel corridor after a night of cards and lager, “so it wouldn’t give the impression there was an alcoholic in my room.”

So today was no exception to this with the antics of Werder Bremen goalkeeper Tim Wiese. Those not familiar with Wiese will enjoy his website, where rather than a football player, he resembles some bad German imitation of the Backstreet Boys

Quite the snappy dresser is Wiese, as here in his matching Leopards and Leopard waistcoat:

Tim Wiese on a glass of Wiese Beer:

So today’s incident was out of the Eric Cantona school of football kung-fu kicks. Werder Bremen initially 1-0 up against Bayern Munich, managed to concede 3 goals in rapid succession. Wiese, the goalkeeper for Bremen decided enough was enough, and launched into the most impressive chest kick and scissor pin move on Klose. Here is a few photos of the incident (apologies for the quality):

Kick to the chest

Left leg follow-through to back

Pin to the floor

This is a glorification of the incident, as I do not condone violence in this sport, merely just highlighting the crazy nature of the Bundesliga. Also, these pics hardly give the incident the gruesome nature of how it all happened. However, this is also not the first boot related incident that Wiese has had with a Bayern Player:

The best representation of this incident I could find online was this:

So, whats the point of this article? Well, for those on the fence, I recommend watching the Bundesliga more regularly, as you never know how the games end up. Quality football and quality players - not just in skill.

To end, I’ll leave you with an Effenberg quote about football ability and the dominance of Bayern Munich over the years:

“You’re either born with it, or the doctor injects you with it.”

Prost to the Bundesliga!

Sometimes, football makes absolutely no sense…

philosofooty:

By Darshan Joshi, writing from Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia

Just imagine the scenario – the final day of the campaign is over, and West Ham United have finished a point adrift of 17^th spot, sentencing themselves to a year, at least, in the Championship. The cost of relegation varies, but we’ll just put it at roughly £30m lost in television and other endorsement deals. This one point that they’ve failed to pick up could have been earned during the course of the thirty-eight games that spread over the ten-month long season. Definitely. Only… they could very well have been two better off had Frédéric Piquionne not been ludicrously sent off for celebrating an 85^th minute goal in their match against Everton a few weeks ago.

That was a goal that put the Hammers 2-1 up, with four minutes of normal time remaining. Piquionne didn’t taunt the opposition, and nor did he ask a female presenter to stick her hand down his pants. All he did was run towards his team’s fans, and celebrate a goal that would have put them two points better off than the league table suggests. Sure, the supporters managed to grab a handful of Piquionne, but in giving a player his second yellow of the night for showing passion and enthusiasm late on in a crucial juncture of the league season, the FA’s refereeing rules may very well cost West Ham a place in the Premier League next season. It’s easy to say that Piquionne was stupid to break the rules, but it was something he did in the heat of the moment. It was harsh.

 

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Football pundits and commentators; the bane and most common complaint of football fans the world over. Many fans these days groan at the tiresome, cliché-ridden diatribe that spews out these so-called experts week-in, week-out. Whether its Sky Sports or MOTD, most people are getting tired of these “studio experts”.  So, for most it came as no surprise that Andy “Big Four Only” Gray and Richard “Werewolf-hands” Keys were caught off guard, making sexist remarks about a lineswomen and her understanding of the offside rule.  In actual fact Sian Massey, the lineswoman for Wolves vs Liverpool, got the decision spot on, further showing these pair of clowns a good match for the sexist label they deserve.

Anyone not a fan of the “big four”, will have had enough of the biased comments of especially Andy Gray over the years. Richard Keys a former morning TV presenter, has somehow attached himself to Andy Gray and risen to the top of the shite pile of football punditry. Myself as a Newcastle fan have put up with enough nonsense from Gray over the years, this season included. This is the man, who condemned Joey Barton for his incident with Mort Gamst Pedersen (which I agree was a red card), launching into a tirade about him.

.. it was vicious and Barton will be punished by the FA

Yet, the same man defended Nigel De Jong’s leg breaking tackle on Hatem Ben Arfa (who currently has been out of action for at least 4 months), yet no apology yet from De Jong (Barton immediately apologized)

Newcastle and Ben Arfa are obviously disappointed with what’s happened …. we should just put the whole thing down as just something that happens in football from time to time and leave it at that.

“Disappointed” hardly describes a potential career ending tackle. Now, before we get into the whole offside rule debate, lets address the incident in question.  There seems to be a mixed reaction all round to this incident; on one hand people are calling for their heads, where on the other side people are excusing Gray / Keys behaviour as a “joke”/ politically correct witch-hunt. 

Let’s for a misogynist moment assume this was a joke, it would seem that on past evidence of their contempt for women in the game this is clearly not the case. The example being the two of them laughing at the 1998 Women’s FA Cup Final between Arsenal & Croydon: 

Also, the same game as the lineswoman incident, it was revealed that Andy Gray made similar sexist, probably worse than those caught with Richard Keys:

The argument for Gray/Keys is that they didn’t make these comments on air, and lots of men shout abuse/sexist remarks during games. First of all, these comments were said whilst they were AT WORK and in the second more recent video show, whilst Gray was on camera pre-interview.  Would it be considered ok, if a couple of male Engineers at work made comments about a female colleague that she didn’t understand the complexity of how say an aircraft worked because she’s a woman? Or if two male doctors commented that women belonged in nursing? Do you think they’d still have their jobs? No, I didn’t think so.

You would think Keys of all people would learn his lesson after the comments he got caught making about Theo Walcott and his “daft pink boots”. Furthermore, later the same game, the two were making fart jokes and asking “Is someone going to get the teas on?” 

Second, Gray/Keys are not just another bloke in the crowd, they have self-elevated themselves to the major TV opinion on all things football.  That position, even if not deserved, comes with a great responsibility. They’re not in the pub with the “lads”, burping and making women / fart jokes.  Somebody has to remind these men in their self-isolated Beavis and Butthead world, that the game of football is no longer in the 1950s. Reminiscent of football being a man’s sport and the “little women” at home having the dinner ready when the man returns home, 10 pints to the wise god dammit.

As for the offside rule itself, this is probably one of the most discussed and least understood rules of the game. The offside rule has been changed and re-written since the rules of football began as detailed here:

However, as any football fan will testify, how many times have you yourself or other screamed at the game / TV over what you didn’t get about the offside rule? And spectactically got a call wrong? You’re not alone, even “experts” claim not to fully get the current version. 

So for those of you wanting clarification, here is the offside rule according to FIFA:

A player is in an offside position if he is nearer to his opponents’ goal-line than the ball and the second last opponent (usually the last defender), unless he is in his own half. If the attacker is level, he is onside.

Further, recent changes include:

Interfering with play means playing or touching the ball passed or touched by a team-mate.

Interfering with an opponent means preventing an opponent from playing or being able to play the ball by clearly obstructing the opponent’s line of vision or movements or making a gesture or movement which, in the opinion of the referee, deceives or distracts an opponent.

Gaining an advantage by being in that position means playing a ball that rebounds to him off a goal-post or the crossbar having been in an offside position or playing the ball that rebounds to him off an opponent having been in an offside position.

 

That aside, getting back to Gray/Keys sexist comments, the whole incident reminds me of the Chumley Warner sketch from Harry Enfield entitled “Women, know your limits”. I imagine Gray/Keys at this dinner table, with the likes of their wives making comments about football:

I don’t know anything about football, but I do love little kittens

Another example of Gray’s contempt for the opinion of women onfootball was witnessed by those who watched the Euro 2008 tournament on ESPN in the USA. Gray was hired as a big name to cover the studio debates alongside Julie Foudy. Many times during this tournament, as Foudy was trying to make a point to make, he’d cut her off. 

It seems in Gray/Keys football world, women should be bringing the tea and biscuits at half-time, and should concern themselves with such complicated things as football. In a real twist of irony, it may be that Gray/Keys may have done more for women in football than most men, by highlighting this issue. Today’s Guardian noted the FA have now a record number of female applicants have contacted them about qualifying as football referees, since this incident

As Kenny Dalglish said after the game, it doesn’t matter what your gender is, you should be judged on how you do your job. If that’s the case, then Andy Gray and Richard Keys should get a red card from Sky and hopefully a long ban from the air waves. How about the two of them “getting the teas on” for a couple of female replacements?

Good to see Coloccini and Gutierrez not in this friendly from a Newcastle standpoint.

Last thing Newcastle needs right now is either games missed or more injuries.

futeboleavida:

Goalkeepers: Sergio Romero, Mariano Andújar.

Defenders: Zanetti, Zabaleta, Pareja, Burdisso, Garay, Marcos Rojo, Otamendi, Gabriel Milito.

Midfielders: Cambiasso, Fernando Gago, Lucas Biglia, Jose Sosa, Di María, Enzo Pérez, Mascherano, Banega, Pastore.

Forwards: Messi, Lavezzi, Diego Millito, Gaitán, Juan Manuel Martínez

EZE is on the squad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAA!!!!

I thought Gutierrez was gonna be there too? My mistake I guess.. Yay for the rest of them :D

Since Newcastle are up against Spurs this weekend, here are a range of ‘Arry Redknapp lookalikes:

What a derby this was again, so many talking points.

The unwashed have only 1 point off us this season after being the “superior” team in the North-East (was almost none).

Steve Bruce getting carried away, inciting the mackems, then condemning them when they got carried away.

A magpie getting on the pitch when we were winning 1-0.

Various pitch invasions by chavs, including some scrote who pushed over Harper

Tino Asprilla in the away end with Newcastle fans.

And the icing on the cake today, the move of golden-boy Bent to Villa.

“Classless fans”? I believe there’s only one set in the NE and they’re almost tore their own stadium apart.

Well, here is some highlights of the tweets from Sunday:

@de_facto_phil You know.. for tomorrow… #nufc

@TheBrightonMag Forever a Geordie! RT @AndyOBriens Whats everyones predictions for todays games? i’m going for wins for newcastle,

@CaulkinTheTimes My considered opinion as a rational observer is that this is going to be BONKERS MENTAL. 10 mins to kick-off. #SAFC #NUFC 

@Ganon391 This derby is entertaining. End to end, and #NUFC has had great chances. #SAFC #NUFC @nufcfans

@JamesFoth Has Steve Bruce done the impossible? Got fatter and uglier?#NUFC 

@Stefan_Tod Joey Barton booked for being joey barton…. again #nufc

@Gazcumps Tweet from a mackem I know saying they were outsung in the 1st half! #nosurprise #nufc #nufcfans 

@skipolas Here we go. 2nd half. HTFL! ▒▓██ N █ U █ F █ C ██▓▒

@blairbuchanan NO, NO, NO NO NO NO, NO NO NO NO, NO NO KEVIN NOLAN!#NUFC

@Pradajames Woke up just in time to see Nolan score on a backheel?! Am I still asleep?

@chaimy4life Kevin Nolan! Funky chicken time with @ToonArmyMIA and @brad_ideas! #nufc

@BradleySparkes Cheer up Stevie Bruce… oh what can it be… for a.. fat mackem bastard and a shit football team #SAFC 0 - 1 #NUFC

@canadiangeordie Another Magpie on the pitch. Omen #NUFC #SAFC

@Chris_Faulkner Funny thing is, they’re celebrating like it’s a win. If they hadn’t scored Steve Bruce’s revenge song would have been a chorus of boos#nufc

@AndrewSoRocks So the season agg score is #nufc 6 #safc 2. Yeah think I can take that in the end like. @nufcfans

@Suffolk_Mag @thefadotcom Presumably Sunderland will face some kind of punishment, for again failing to control their fans today? Happens everytime.

@mattcharlt0n Tino Asprilla in the away end. Phenomenal. Row in front, 20 to the left of me, anyone close enough to get picture with? Fair few did.#NUFC

@lee_ryder when are the authorities going to do something, it’s happened at every game at SoL now.

shiteseats:

As part of the sponsorship by Tombola of Sunderland, one of the conditions are that on game days, the team sheet is drawn in the following way:

As a result, this is today’s teamsheet:

Inspired by some Mackem Zombie related postings today, here are some more in the theme of “28 Days Later / The Walking Dead”.

28 Goals Later; a sequel to the 5-1 defeat to Newcastle

The “Sewage” virus was released by some do-gooders, when they released the monkeys from their cages: 

A group of 11 hero’s banded together to beat the unwashed:

(Courtesy of @shiteseats, www.shiteseats.com)

The road to the Stadium of Shite was deserted on match day:

A strict quarantine for away fans so they dont pick up the “stink” was enforced:

(courtesy of @mattcharlt0n)

They were all hungry for BRAINNNSSS! Because they had none of their own:

Forward stepped an unlikely saviour, who’s f*cking large heed kept the zombies busy for weeks, whilst the 11 Toon Hero’s slaughtered the mackem opposition